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You Don’t Have to Know Where You’re Going Yet
Big up fam! 🙌🏾🌍
There was a woman standing near Member Services the other morning.
Alone.
I noticed because I usually notice people who walk into rooms alone.
When you know somebody, your eyes go looking for them.
A face.
A table.
Somebody already waving you over.
When you don't, you look at the whole room first.
Her name was Rochelle.
She'd been following the Tribe online for nearly a year. She'd come to Friendly Friday twice. She'd been looking at the London Autumn Weekend.
And she'd renewed her passport eighteen months ago.
There was only one small problem.
She still didn't know where she wanted to go.
I liked her immediately.
Because somewhere along the way, we've convinced people that you need a destination before you're allowed to begin.
I'm not sure that's true.
Rochelle wasn't sure either.
So she joined the Tribe.
Sometimes You Come Back Because You Know People
The first time Rochelle came to Friendly Friday, somebody brought her.
The second time?
She came alone.
That interested me more than the year she'd spent following us online.
I asked her why.
Her answer was simple.
“I knew people by then.”
That's it.
No speech about community.
No list of benefits.
No dramatic revelation about finding her people.
She'd walked into a room once, learned a few names and discovered that the next time she walked through the same door, the room felt different.
Sandy had something to do with it.
Apparently Rochelle spent about ten minutes worrying she'd be the random person standing around with a drink before Sandy decided her jacket was depressing and introduced her to six people.
That's Sandy.
Winston also showed her photographic evidence that he'd met King Charles.
Twice.
Also unsurprising.
But when I asked Rochelle what she liked about Friendly Friday, she didn't say the programme.
She said:
Them.
The people.
Twenty years of building membership systems, and I still don't think we've invented anything better than that.
People remembering people.
You Can Belong Before You Decide Where You're Going
Rochelle had been waiting to join until she knew where she was going.
London?
Somewhere else?
She didn't know.
Then she realised she'd been asking the wrong question.
She might not know where she wanted to go yet.
But she knew she wanted to go somewhere.
So Aliayah showed her the membership options.
Local. Global. Legacy.
And when Rochelle asked whether joining meant she had to choose a journey immediately, Aliayah told her no.
Join because you want to be part of the Tribe.
The journeys will still be here when you're ready to choose one.
Rochelle chose Local Membership.
Payment went through.
No music started.
Nobody applauded.
I offered to clap.
She declined.
Probably wisely.
But a little while later, Sandy saw her across the Lounge.
“You joined.”
Then she hugged her.
No ceremony.
Just recognition.
Rochelle had come back.
Sandy remembered her.
Sometimes that's where belonging begins.
But What If Somebody Already Chose Their Path?
I've been thinking about Rochelle because there's another question sitting underneath Chapter One.
Kevin.
Until now, the question has mostly been:
What happened to him?
That's the question you ask when somebody disappears.
You look at the empty space they left behind and start wondering what happened to them.
But this week, something shifts.
Information coming through Kenya gives us another possibility to consider.
Not an answer.
Not proof that Kevin is safe.
And definitely not enough for me to tell you what happens next.
I'm not doing your reading for you. 😂
But enough to make me wonder whether we've been asking the question from the wrong direction.
Because there is a difference between:
Someone disappeared.
and
Someone left.
Auntie Lora would probably tell me there are several differences and then feed me while explaining all of them.
She has known me long enough to remember a version of myself that wasn't always interested in everybody else's advice.
At nineteen, I wanted my life to belong to me.
Even when I was making a mess of it.
Maybe that's why this question bothers me.
Kevin is nineteen too.
And by the end of this episode, the path looks different than it did at the beginning.
So I'm not going to tell you what we find.
I'm only going to leave you with the question I was left with:
What if Kevin left?
🌴You Don't Need the Destination First
Rochelle joined the Tribe without knowing where her first journey would take her.
Maybe that's you too.
You might be looking at London.
You might be thinking about a journey we haven't announced yet.
Or perhaps you simply want to walk into the Village, learn a few names and see what happens next.
That's enough to begin.
Autumn Membership is open across Local, Global and Legacy Membership.
You don't have to know your destination yet.
You can choose the Tribe first.
📖 Follow the Other Path
Rochelle's story is only one part of Chapter One.
While one person in Leicester is deciding she doesn't need to know the destination before joining the journey, something happening thousands of miles away is changing the way Kai thinks about someone who has gone missing.
The question was:
What happened to Kevin?
By the end of Episode IV, it becomes:
What if Kevin left?
I'm not telling you what changes it.
You'll have to follow that path yourself.
Then come back and tell me:
Do you think leaving and disappearing are always the same thing?
That question is also better than asking readers whether Kevin deliberately disappeared, because our original question essentially told them which theory the episode introduces.
Hospitably yours,
— Kai 🎭🥁🌴
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